The Road to Happiness by Keith Havers
Published 24 November 2011 as part of the Writing East Midlands and Lincolnshire Echo Short Story Competition
Derek had travelled the world. There wasn’t a country about which he didn’t know at least something. He loved them all. He loved their shapes and their colours. Especially the colours.
He loved the fact that Britain was pink, France mauve and Italy green. He marvelled that Brazil is fat while Chile is stick-thin. He wondered why some border lines are jagged while others are dead straight. Derek loved the world and he would sit in his little bed-sit on Sunday afternoons and run his finger over his World Atlas. From page to page. West to East.But he loved Britain best. Ordnance Survey Explorer was king. You don’t even have to turn the pages with an OS. He would pick one from his shelf at random, open it up and spread it out over the bare lino. His finger would trace along the blue motorways and branch off onto the red A roads then the orange B roads until he found a tourist spot. He knew the difference between a footpath and a bridleway. He could tell a cutting from an embankment and knew his National Trust from his English Heritage. He could go anywhere. Rain or shine.
During lunchtimes, when his supervisor told him he could take his break, he would leave the office and slip into the library next door. He wouldn’t even know which A to Z he had brought with him each day until he opened his briefcase and took out the dog-eared buff envelope. His ritual of closing his eyes and dropping one of the shiny red, white and blue booklets into the bag before he left for work had not been missed for over three years. He would flick through the pages and decide if today’s town had anything better to offer than yesterday’s. Maybe it had more car parks or bigger shopping centres. Perhaps it needed a decent ring-road. Not that it mattered. Derek wouldn’t be going there.
Whenever he felt down and even his Explorers held no interest for him he would take out his postcard-sized London Underground map and invent little games for himself. How to get from A to B with the smallest number of stops? Without looking at the map, how many stops are there between X and Y? Soon he would be back to his old self and poring over public rights of way and county boundaries. Once he took himself down to the nearest tube station with the intention of trying one of his games in the real world but he only got as far as the turnstile. Even from there he could hear the roar of the trains and feel the breeze as the air was sucked down the tunnel. His ears popped and he struggled to breathe while the crowds hemmed him in and trapped him against the barrier. Only by gripping the handrail did he manage to drag himself back up the stairs into the welcoming daylight where it took him several minutes to compose himself. He wandered home vowing never to be so foolish again.
Yes, Derek adored his maps. He loved everything about them. He loved the anticipation as you opened out an OS and flattened down its multitude of panels. He loved the part where you had to work out which way the creases went so you could fold them back up again. He loved the patterns, the colours, even the smell. Nothing would separate Derek from his beloved maps.
And then Derek fell in love.
Proper love.
With a girl.
He didn’t see it coming. The opposite sex had never taken any interest in him and so Derek never contemplated hooking up with anyone. Not that he wasn’t bad looking. It was just that he had his quirks and eccentricities. He had always assumed that romance was not for people like him. But it still happened.
He was sitting in the café opposite the library, idly thumbing through that day’s A to Z. New library hours meant it had to close all day on Wednesdays so this became Derek’s midweek haven. He didn’t notice the young girl enter and go up to the counter. Even when she sat at the next table with her Espresso and Kit Kat his attention never wandered from the page. It was only when she spoke that he realised he was not alone.
“Excuse me,” she said.
Derek looked up and found himself staring into a pale moon face framed by a tousled mop. Her eyes were a sort of Woodland Area green and her hair looked like it had been dyed a National Cycle Trail red.
“I’m not familiar with this area and wondered if I could borrow your A to Z.” “I er…” Derek stuttered. He wasn’t used to talking to females, apart from his boss Miss Clydesdale, and she didn’t really count.
“Just for a moment,” she added.
“I er… I’m afraid this won’t be much use to you.” Derek held up the book for her to see the front cover. “This is a map of Leicester.”
“Oh…” It was the girl’s turn to be flustered.
Unconcerned, Derek returned to studying the M1 intersection at Junction 21 where the M69 becomes the A46.
“Maybe you could help me,” the girl persisted. “I’m due to look over a flat in ten minutes and I need to find Albert Road.”
Derek sighed. He didn’t want to be rude. But this was his lunch hour and the intricacies of the road network around the Fosse Park Shopping Centre were helping to relax him before returning to Miss Clydesdale’s piercing glare.
“Turn left outside and go up to the traffic lights. You’ll need to cross over and cut through Boots. Don’t go through the cosmetics section or you’ll end up back on the main road. Look for the pharmacy and…”
“You couldn’t show me could you?”
Derek stopped in mid flow.
“It’s just that I’m in a hurry and I’d be ever so grateful.”
She stood up to leave and Derek automatically did the same. Why, he didn’t know. “Don’t forget your shopping,” she said.
As she picked up the paper bag, Derek’s latest addition to his collection slid out onto the table.
“Ooh, another map? You must travel around a lot.”
“I collect them,” said Derek retrieving his purchase.
“Really?” said the girl. “I’m a bit of a map freak too. Amazing!”
Derek failed to see anything remarkable about it and left the shop without comment. He walked mutely along while the girl did all the talking.
“I’m starting a new job and this is the ninth place I’ve looked at.”
It occurred to Derek that she should have invested in her own A to Z by now if she had been flat-hunting for that long. Especially since she was a ‘map freak’ as she so eloquently put it. He walked her up to the shopping arcade and led her through Boots. As soon as they emerged out of the other side he turned to go back.
“Just carry on along here,” he pointed down the road. “Second on the left.” Before he could get very far she had lifted herself on her toes and planted a kiss on his cheek.
“I said I’d be very grateful,” she called over her shoulder as she skipped down the street to her appointment.
Derek rubbed his cheek as he made his way back to work. In fact he couldn’t help touching his face every now and then as he ploughed through the pile of paperwork that Miss Clydesdale had deposited on his desk. It was left unsaid but they both knew that the heavy workload he had been assigned was punishment for being seven minutes late back from lunch. He couldn’t understand what was happening to him but his lunchtime encounter seemed to have muddled his senses. He could think of nothing else but the girl. Even when he got home and opened up his new OS no. 454 North Uist & Berneray it barely held his attention.
The next day, even though the library was open, he spent his lunch hour at the café on the off chance she might be there again. It didn’t surprise him that she wasn’t. But it didn’t stop him doing the same thing the next day and the following week. It wasn’t until a week after their first meeting that his prayers were answered. He sat with his A to Z open but his eyes were on the door.
“Hello!” she said as she came in and paused at his table, picking up the booklet. “What is it today? Leeds and Bradford eh?”
Without waiting for a reply she marched up to the counter and returned with her coffee and biscuit. It seemed the most natural thing for her to sit opposite Derek and he didn’t raise an eyebrow when she grabbed his book once more and flicked through it.
“So what is it about streets and motorways that’s so fascinating?” she asked. “I’m Alice by the way.”
“My name’s Derek and I don’t really know why I’m attracted to them,” he found himself slipping easily into conversation. “The patterns, the colours… I find it relaxing.”
“Me too!” Alice exclaimed. “Although I’m more of a countries and oceans kind of girl. I like the crinkly coastlines and exotic names.”
“I have a few Atlases too,” said Derek. “Maybe you’d like to see them… or… that is…”
He realised he’d jumped the gun and was now embarrassed by his eagerness. The excitement of a new friendship had caused his mouth to override his brain. Why would this bubbly girl want to go to his dingy little bed-sit and look through a few dog-eared books? He needn’t have worried, however.
“I’d love to,” she replied.
And that’s how it began. It transpired that Alice was a nurse and had just started a new job at the local Health Centre. She visited Derek’s place several times during the following weeks and cooked him simple meals on his tiny two-burner stove. She weaned him off ready meals for one and introduced him to takeaways and wine. In between these gourmet delights they would flip through Derek’s giant books and imagine they were cruising the Med, trekking the Sahara or setting off on some other outrageous expedition. It was trivial, it was fun and it made them both laugh.
Eventually Derek was invited to Alice’s flat. It had taken her several weeks to get things straight after moving in but now she felt ready to let him see the finished product. She led him up to the landing, unlocked the door and let him go in first. Derek stood in the doorway and gaped at Alice’s idea of home décor. On the coffee table in the middle of the lounge sat a small, illuminated globe of the world. On the sideboard was a bigger globe also illuminated. From the ceiling hung globes of various designs and sizes. Among the traditional styles there were old world globes and celestial globes. Some were mapped out with political boundaries while others depicted geographical features. In the corner there even stood one of those globe drinks cabinets that were popular some years ago.
“Don’t just stand there. Go inside.”
Alice pressed Derek in the back causing him to lurch into the room.
“What do you think? I know it’s a bit naff and some of it’s retro. But that’s me all over. I like to call it ‘naffro’.”
Derek felt faint. The room was spinning and his throat tightened. It was just like the tube station. He had to get out. He spun round and stumbled down the stairs and out into the street. By the time Alice caught up with him he was clinging to the nearest lamppost and gulping in air.
“Whatever’s wrong?” she said. “Are you ill?”
“I just need to go home,” he gasped.
Once she had him settled in his own armchair Alice quizzed him about what had just happened.
“I’m not like other men,” he explained. “I have these… these… little quirks.”
“You have a phobia,” said Alice. “I understand. I’m a nurse, remember.”
“Ever since I was a child,” he went on. “I was knocked out. I think it was a football or basketball. Ever since…”
“It’s alright.” She cradled his head and rocked him to sleep.
It was two weeks later when she persuaded him to visit again. Once more she unlocked the door and he stood on the threshold. His heart was pounding but as he peered into the room he relaxed. Gone were the menacing spheres that had triggered his panic attack. On the coffee table now lay a bowl of fruit and the sideboard featured a lava lamp.
“It’s still a bit retro,” she said. “But I think this is more to your liking.”
“You’ve done this for me?” said Derek.
“Of course. We can’t carry on just meeting at your place.”
From then on their love blossomed. Derek changed from being a creature of habit and routine to one of spontaneity. He still maintained his lunchtime routine but met with Alice every Wednesday on her half-day off. Instead of spending hours poring over his collection he would go walking with Alice, listen to the radio or just sit and chat. And when it came to the point where they felt they could seal their relationship, that crucial intimate moment, their love was complete. In fact it was Derek’s new-found spontaneity, while they were out walking in the woods, that led to the next landmark in their relationship.
Even when Alice announced she was pregnant it didn’t unsettle Derek. They planned what they would do when the baby came and looked forward to becoming a family. The weeks passed and her stomach began to swell. As her time approached she would place Derek’s hand on her bump and let him feel it kick. He would caress it gently and place a tender kiss just above her navel.
Then one night a thought occurred to Derek. While Alice napped he went into the spare room and dragged out one of the cardboard boxes where she kept her junk. By the time she emerged from the bedroom he had a surprise for her. In the middle of the coffee table sat the illuminated globe.
“I… I don’t understand,” she said. “How did you…?”
“I just figured that if something round and smooth could hold something as precious as a baby then they can’t be that terrifying.”
“Tears of joy welled in her eyes as they embraced in the middle of the room.”
“My life only began when I met you,” said Derek. “I feel I can achieve anything now. Who knows? I may even ride on the tube someday.”
“Let’s not get carried away,” laughed Alice. “One step at a time, eh?”
But Derek had no doubts. He could see a wonderful future mapped out in front of them.
